I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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