oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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