it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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