There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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