You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
