If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
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