nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize