Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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