I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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