I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
