Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
