I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
