so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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