I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
