He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
