I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
