yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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