either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
