Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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