And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
