If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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