her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
