she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
