i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize