I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
