If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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