Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
