U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
