Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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