Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
