My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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