erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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