It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
