if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
