u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i may or may not be watching the land before time
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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