I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
COCAINE IS GR8
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
