I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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