im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize