If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
