This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
