I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
