Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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