glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
