she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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