M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
