Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
