I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
