Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize