I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize