WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
