it's like iHOP with fire
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
