How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
