brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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