why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
