I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
