There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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